I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
