He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Randomize