Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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