I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
