I'm going to jail i love you
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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