I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
