am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How naked do you want me to be?
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