she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
