is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
