Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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