I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
