Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
