The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
