ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
