the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
