i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
