I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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