I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
