just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
