Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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