I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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