whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
