Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
