I think scott just propositioned me for sex
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
