At least make sure they are 18
Why
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize