Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
