I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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