just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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