She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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