I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
