can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
