The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
