he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
