break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
