i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
