so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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