I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
