Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
