I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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