He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize