i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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