the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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