our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
