$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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