every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
