ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
