he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
