using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
