if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
