Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
