I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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