But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
