Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
