dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
