Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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