I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
