Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
