I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
