I want to have your abortion
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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