How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
