I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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