so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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