Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
