That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
