just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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